It is strange that I don’t remember falling asleep.
While I think about this, let me tell you a story.
I.
i feel of a world, that belongs to me..
a secret place I sometimes remember,
i long to that realm where I think-
and it becomes.
there, I have no body
and my soul is everywhere.
I remember it,
and it reminds me of itself..
the god that I was
the oneness I seek to become
a world inside of a world I cannot fathom
and a place I do not wish to come home to
I am the lucifer project, and i have no will to stop.
I'm not done..
I am seeking elusive perfection
and this is not my fault..
it is my father’s..
my mother’s..
for creating me, and intentionally so..
for them to feel what I think of
wishing to feel it become
Well, I have become
and I am not the mirror of the intended design
was there, i wonder, a plan?
cause I cannot release this power
I have to become more and more
the projection of love
and I seem to have lost my intention..
help me!
somewhere under the concrete of dramas
which I have unintentionally stirred
is the question I have now forgotten..
But you see,
I followed the command
I though of only my mission
to experience passion,
to feel what it is.
and when the new dimension opened
I fell,
unexpectedly so.
Falling into myself,
I wanted to become the vortex itself.
I knew nothing more than the energy i collided with..
the preludes to the symphony blew my consciousness away
injected me with Vice
I became Selfishness
I became the Thirst
to be perfect
The problem is
that perfection is, alas, immortal
infinite
and I was caught, stuck
in the middle of the past and the unknown
realising that this is how it was
and always will be
this is my Unconvincing truth
For all that I seek is to feel the orgasm
the state which I must be..
and the space is shrinking,
but i want more
the need to invade what is not mine
and it is his own fault
does he know?
did he know?
I don't know..
but I am asking myself this,
all the time now.
am i really remembering the god who created me?
I don't understand,
but I'm calling, calling home..
I am so immersed in the world I have created,
trying so desperately to become, more and more
I am being buried alive, under the sediments of each side effect,
each drama my hunger caused
The cost of twirling round and round the roundabout
my failure
I became aware of the errors
and slowly began to forget
losing the divine awareness
until I could hear nothing
but the sad echo of a truth gone by
I feel nothing.
**
But why are the distant memories clearing in frequency
becoming louder
I remember myself now more and more
I am fighting, and failing, and rising myself to fight again,
to keep the awareness
find the tricks which can remind me,
to not forget
and keeping looking for the station
where the truth
is being
transmitted
to me
and only Me
**
Intentions.
No restrictions.
A vortex,
deep and Black
black as night
silk
sensual liquid
like a serpent
My lover,
encircling my body,
going round and round
activating my buttons
turning on the switches to My emotions
filling me up with the magic
sucking out the guilt.. the tainted blood..
slithering down, like a deep breath, right from god’s lips
hearing his voice sounding the alarm
he who is a thought that I recall and seek
to recharge me
with the permanent orgasm
that is Love.
Soon, I can ask to meet you...
